"Exquisite"

Isn't it weird how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you? I mean you can think of yourself as a really laid back and easy going person and others can look at you as demanding and spoiled.

I had dinner last night with some friends and they said that I was "Monica" from friends. That I was passive aggressive. Passive aggressive, what, me, no way. I am sooo, not. But then they explained it to me. They gave me a great example, they said when we are choosing a place to eat, I say that I am cool with whatever but if they give me an option I say ok but I give the reasons I would rather not...I am not sure that makes any sense...anyway so ya that’s that...

Who am I really anways...? Lately I have had a few conversations with people that truly have challenged me to step back and evaluate who I am? I mean I know who I am in Christ or sure..But I guess I am struggling with some of my crazy flaws...I am a lousy communicator, but I want to change that. I don't live on the edge even though I would like to say that I do..I am a control freak apparently, but who isn't to a certain degree...So with all this said how does one change for the better? I mean not that I want to change my personality by no means but I think that these characteristics in my personality can use some fine-tuning. Where does one start??

Well first there is the communication issue, which by the way is getting better...I just really don't enjoy conflict. Sometimes I choose my battles and weed out what’s really important. But then that leads me to assuming which we all know what happens when you do that..So with out assuming and without blowing up every five seconds, we fall into communication. I believe communication is an art, a gift, that some people just have better then others. We are capable of communicating just some of us have to work on it and others it comes naturally. Me I am one of those who have to work on it. (But I make a great pumpkin cheesecake)..lol...anyway...so I guess I just need to practice, cause when I am married communication is going to be very important and I want to be sure and be ready..

Living on the edge, or living like I am dying I should say. I like the safe routes, like some purchases, I rarely get something new at a restaurant cause I know what I already like. I have learned from someone very special that I put up walls. When this was explained to me, it was though a light bulb lit up in my brain! I guess whenever there is some kinda of risk involved in a relationship I am so easily scared off. I know why this is though; it's because I don't want to get hurt. But I have come to the understanding, I will never know how anything turns out I don't give it a chance, and if it doesn’t work out or if I don't like that salad on the menu, o well life will still go on and God will get me through it all. Don't get me wrong I am not going to be foolish, but I am going to just stick my heart out there a little. I would rather know what love is and risks getting hurt then never love at all and be lonely.

And this whole control freak thing, I am not really I like comprimise, I do. But I can work on the whole humbleness thing and truley just sit back and enjoy life and not get frustrated when things dont completly work out the way I planned...hey I want a live a life to its fullest none of this holding back stuff!!!

One Fall Day....
This picture was taking outside my apartment...On Saturday I got to enjoy God's beauty of the fall...

Life is an amazing gift by God but more importantly Gods gift of Justification, Glorification, Predestination, and Sanctification are even better...


Justification for the believer is "the main hinge on which salvation turns" John Calvin. By God's justification he is declaring his righteousness. In Romans 3, God tells us that there is no righteousness in humanity! "There is no one righteous not even one" Romans 3:10. God demands righteousness out of each believer, but what God demands, man can not provide. What is this one should ask? God wants us to do something that there is no way we can ever do, how's that just? But it is possible because God gave us his only son Jesus Christ and through him we have been declared righteous through faith.

1) So what is this meaning of justification by faith?

If we look at the opposite of the word of justification we find the word condemnation.
Justification by biblical definition Is the verdict of God upon sinners and provides his righteousness. It is the verdict of the last day and brought into the present day. There is no condemnation through Christ Jesus and a believer should look at this and grasp that because of Christ's righteousness,by faith, they are free!

2) Why do we need to be justified?

Well for one there is n escape from it! The standard of the judgemnet is the Law of God. The Law of God is such one that condemns humanity. We try so hard not to break the law, but truth is their are no un law breakers, everyone has turned away from God. So what is the verdict? Their is no answer in the day of judgment. Every mouth will be silenced and guilty, no "but", "it's", or "ands". The Lords word exposes our hearts, their is no hiding. God will judge the secrets of man...

3)How can then God, justify? What is the ground of justification?

Atonement, Exodus 23:7, " I will not justify the wicked." Proverbs, God declares sinners righteous, with out taking away anything from himself. God has Given the most amazing exchange, our sin for his righteousness!!

Martin Luther said once, " be that Peter, the denier, be that Judas the betrayer,..." We are not any different then these men of the Bible.

4) Lastly, how does this justification become mine?

It is by God's mercy, through faith in Jesus Christ. Faith is the open heart, it reaches out and says my savior stood where I am and now I stand where you are guiltless...

NO CONDEMNATION!!

"Don't Get Between Me and My Chicken Wing"

So I guess I ll fill you all in about the robbery...This past weekend I came home real late on Saturday night and as I walked through my front door I noticed my living room had been tossed and turned and dug all through, the couch was flipped on its side the chair was flipped up side down...Quickly my eyes focused in on the entertainment center, I thought to myself," If they are going to steal anything it's going to be in there." nope everything was still there, I was so disturbed, what were they looking for anyway. So I ran into my room and headed for the closet, called my roommate Jess, but there was no answer...Then I thought, "what if they were still here", at that point I was freaked out. Shortly after my panic attack,Jess walked in and told me her boyfriend Adam thought it would be funny to freak the crap out of me, well it worked Adam..HA!..LOL...

So what about these chicken wings, well last night was quite the adventure. My friend Kati and I had decided to head up to this sports bar called, Buffalo Wild Wings, to watch the world series, game three. We got there around 8pm and the place was packed, not a seat in the house. The reason we wanted to eat there so bad was, because they had 25 cent wing night! A true college students dream...Well sense the place was packed we decided to head over to the other one, problem was is that I wasn't sure what city it was in, Collierville or Germantown, I took a shot and went with Colierville, my total bad! If any of you know me at all you know that I am a pro at getting lost...LOL...We ended up getting there 40 minutes later ended up completely backtracking, I called Kati on the way there and told her, "If there are no seats I am going to have to pull up a chair and sit with whoever, cause there is no getting between me and my chicken wings!" The drive was well worth it , we found a great seat right in front of the big screen and enjoyed watching the Red Sox slaughter the Cardinals! ...LOL...Sorry Card fans...

Let's Go BOSTON let's GO!! 

Robbed at gun point!

Ok not realy..but I new that would get your attention...My friend adam thought it would be pretty funny to scare the crap out of me this weekend! ...Let me back up ...first off let me say way to go Bo-Sox this weekend! After studying for hours on end each day this weekend, i snuck in a few minutes of the world series , and I have to say the Red Sox are killing those Cardinals..next game is this Tuesday night and I am pumped up for sure.

I had some killer Thai food on Sat night. My friend Brownie(yes thats her real name) invited me to her churche's themed dinner party. They had a family who is origanly from Thailand prepare some authentic Thai food. Thai food is my favorite! At home in Redlands CA, I always go to the Rama Garden with my Dad,when I visit. Real Thai food which is not Americanized is very spicy, good just very spicy..I finnanly got to meet some new people, not that I don't love the people I am around everyday. It's just that, I see the same people everyday and hanging out with a new crowd is nice sometimes. ...It makes you apprecite life a lot more.

At my church we are having a fall lecture called "Reformation Grace". We have the pleasure of having an amazing speaker, Dr. Eric Alexander, who has an amazing English accent by the way.. Sunday he spoke on Forknowlege and Predestination. Wow very powerful, he teaches right out of the scripture and expalins it so clearly and passionatly. He is truly called by God to be a tool for realaying the truth to Jesus's fallowers. This Saturday night my friend Brownie and her Fince Jason are having a Reformation party, in celebration of the protestant reformation, on October 31, 1517 was the same day that Martin Luther nailed his Ninety-five Thesis to the door of the Wittenberg Palace All Saints' Church. And This event signaled the beginning of the Protestant Reformation in Germany and Protestantism in general.

Ok So now on to the robbery...oh shoot I just looked at the time and I got to run to the lecture at Church so stay tuned....

Saturday Mornings, Borders & Coffee

What I am listening to these days...

TJ McCloud's New CD is my new favorite! Go check it out, I am sure it will be yours soon too...
Just another rainy Saturday at borders for me. If I am not mistaken every weekend in Memphis there is some sort of rain. I am not used to all this rain, at home in Cali it rains less then I can count on both hands. I am getting used to it though, what am I saying no I am not! I am enjoying the beautiful fall leaves though. I am starting to really enjoy my systematic life..I think if I didn't have structure I would be a crazy mess. Every week I pretty much do the same thing, from school to work, to the soccer field to bed. Then on the weekends if you can't find me at home sleeping I am at the nearest Coffee shop for sure.

That's just one more thing I miss about home, the many different mom and pop coffee shops. Here in Memphis its all about, (Kruizenga brothers turn your eyes from the screen) Starbucks or the Republic. I personally enjoy Borders book store, you get to read a little of a book before you purchase it. I wish everything was like that in life.Like relationships for example, wouldn't it be nice if you could see just a glimpse of what your getting yourself into before you jump in to it? I would...But I know that takes away from the excitement of Love ..bla..bla..bla..But this weekend I am crackin the books, I got three papers due Wednesday,and a Micobiology test on Monday....who needs sleep any way, its so overated.

Lover of Coffee..

Last night was kinda interesting. I went to the school play "On the Verge or the geography of Yearning" it was.... Lets just say very different not bad just different. There was some crazy nonsense in it...Half of the stuff made no sense what so ever. After, I made the mistake of eating pizza,( lactoseintolerant), "hey it was free" lets just say I was not a happy camper this morning. After the play a few friends came over my place to watch a movie. It was another wasted 90 minutes of my life that's for sure. I rented Christmas Vacation 2, because the first one was hilarious! I figured the second one would be just as good, but we all know what happens when one assumes. It was terrible, I wasn't looking for an Oscar award winner or anything but this was ridicuously corny.

I already see the busy week a head of me, I know I just need to sit still sometime this weekend so I have rest and recuperation, but there is just no way that is going to be possible. I have more homework then I know what to do with. This independent Medieval readings class is challenging me big time. I know my professor is just trying to prepare me for my master classes but hey let me be a undergrad a little longer...LOL...

Wish I was here.....dreamin.. 

Happy Friday!

Thank God it's Friday!! Wow what a week, I feel like it flew by faster then a snail crossing the street, ok that's not fast at all, which was like this week! Last night I had a soccer game and let's just say we played our hearts out, but they broke our hearts, yup we got slaughtered, oh well better luck next time..The Cardinals on the other had kicked some major butt! Good for them, to bad they are going to be crushed by Boston this weekend. You know what last night it dawned on me how much baseball I have watched this past week, how easily I make time for things that don't relay matter and become a slacker in the things that truly do matter.

I had a very encouraging conversation with my friend Chris from Cali. Last night, it was bout seizing the moment, or carpe diem( however you spell it). Making the most out of every opportunity! God has truly been challenging me a lot lately with trust. I know that the antidote to worrying is trusting, but can someone please tell me a new strategy..No, I know I just need to be in constant prayer about the things in my life that I am having a difficult time handing over completely to God...Which only makes my relationship with him so much stronger. I love the song by Larue, that sings "Like Clay in Potters hands mold me." This is a perfect picture of what I am and who God is!

We believe!!

Way to Go Boston!!

I hope all you Yankee fans are doing alright....LOL.....That's right I am a Bo-Sox fan all the way! I have been a big baseball fan sense I was a little girl in pig tales. I remember watching television with my Grandpa and just waiting in anticipation to see the true blue come on! (True blue for all you non baseball fans is the LA Dodgers) There my ultimate favorite team of all time. Baseball is the true American sport, your just not a true American citizen unless you have sat at a baseball game with a bag of peanuts in one hand and a dodger dog in the other! Ok well that may be going a little extreme ...ok you could have cracker jacks instead...

My roomate Jess and Me! 

The Journey....

Ok so I know I said, how can anyone keep a journal online, for one who has the time and secondly how dorky is that. And then here I am keeping one...LOL...Well I thought sense I am here in Memphis and most of my friends and family are all over the world, Germany, Washington, New Zealand, and California.. I thought hey I l give this a try its a lot better then sending out mass emails. Plus you know how interesting my life is, I always say I wish someone would pay me to be Bobbi. Wouldn't that be cool if someone payd you to just be you? I know that 's never going to happen but hey we can have dreams can't we? We'll like I said I am busy so I am going to have to stop for today, miss you all!